Sunday, February 7, 2010

toby of the day: wherein we learn about some lesser known federal statutes

Ahhh, winter, time for egg nog, sparkly lights, and evening trains full of crazy people escaping the cold. The latter is not necessarily problematic, so long as you sit quietly, minding your own business, not drawing attention to yourself. Pretty much exhibiting a range of behaviors that are almost impossible for a 2 1/2 year old. Case in point. toby has recently become a bit overenthusiastic about gloves. He likes to point at people wearing gloves and then, in a rather loud voice, discuss those gloves, what color they are, whether they look soft, whether the wearer of the gloves is male or female, how he would like to have those gloves, etc. This is not normally a problem since most people find it endearing that he is complimenting their gloves. But sometimes, well, sometimes it is a problem. For example, if you happen to get on the train and sit behind a crazy man carrying a bag full of meat who you didn't fully realize was crazy until after you sat down and that man is wearing gloves and toby happens to point a few too many times at those gloves causing the crazy man to swivel around and yell at you that pointing is a state, no, a federal offense and that you had better stop pointing or so help you and then he continues yelling at you as he and his meat move to another part of the train, only to be stared at by other passengers at which point he focuses his crazy on them and threatens to beat them up if they don't stop staring at him. Meanwhile, after being briefly stunned into silence by the yelling crazy man toby recovers and begins asking, in a voice so loud it seems like it could be heard outside the train, why is that man so angry? And of course, to be sure you know which man he’s referring to, he points at the crazy man, which causes you to whisk him up and off the train a stop early. Well, that is a time when you realize that maybe it’s time to buy a car, at least until the weather warms up again.

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